Preventative Couples Therapy

Couples often think that they must wait until the relationship gets bad, but in reality, it is healthier to come in when the couples are ok and at a good place to start working through the relationship. Here are some 3 reasons as to why a couples should work before the relationship has major problems.

1. Learn the Skills in Advance. There’s no rule that says you must wait until things are terrible before you learn the best ways to communicate, fight, repair, and show love. You can learn those necessary relationship skills before problems arise, and then you’ll be equipped to handle said issues if or when they arise. Want to know John Gottman’s four predictors of divorce so you can avoid them? How to repair after an argument? The best ways to show your love and commitment? How to provide support to your partner? How to regulate your mood? Great, learn these things. Load up on the skills now, together, when you’re in a great place in your relationship, and you’ll be prepared to handle the more challenging times ahead.
2. Check In to Prevent Problems. Just as we see our doctor for annual physicals every year or regularly change our cars’ oil, a preventative session can help stop problems before they start. Think of it as a relationship check-up. Take an hour to talk through any budding issues, review how you communicate and manage conflict, and anticipate upcoming challenges you might face and how you’ll navigate them. Addressing potential problems and strengthening the relationship in advance makes it so much easier to manage future issues. This preventative work will establish a foundation of mutual investment, alignment, and communication and three
3. The Problems Might Already Be There. I don’t say this to scare you, but problems don’t come from nowhere. There’s a chance that one or both of you have some brewing concerns, perhaps not big enough to make an issue out of yet but potential problems that might become actual problems. Maybe you’re both avoiding a major life decision because you’re not in agreement about what to do, or you have some lingering resentment or hurt from the past that you’re trying to ignore so that the feelings go away. Looking back, couples usually realize that they should have addressed issues long before they seemed like issues. Unearthing and addressing problems, even small ones, can stop them from getting bigger. And most importantly, the therapy ends up being more effective.