Pet Loss and Grief
By Ashley Stricker
June 5, 2025
The grief associated with the loss of a beloved pet is both difficult to bear and to navigate. This kind of grief is a type of disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is grief that is not commonly understood, seen or supported. Or put another way, it is grief that is outside of what is common, expected, or understood. Those who experience disenfranchised grief often feel as though their grief is trivialized due to common misunderstandings of grief. This type of grief is often not publicly seen. Other examples of disenfranchised grief include drug related deaths, divorce, miscarriage or stillbirth, deaths from suicide or homicide, mass casualty events, or a loved one entering the prison system (Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress, 2025).
The reality is the grief that comes with pet loss is valid and painful. It is common for grievers to experience symptoms like sadness, shock, disbelief, exhaustion, brain fog, stomach aches, and heart palpitations (Trepany, C., 2023). Sound familiar? The symptoms of pet loss grief are like those experienced with common grief that is publicly understood and supported. It makes sense to grieve when losing a pet. They are with us every day, they are a support system for many, their love is unconditional and accepting, and they make great friends!
If this grief feels familiar to you, the following are tips to support you through your grief journey of losing a beloved pet.
- Recognize that this is real grief, that needs to be felt and tended to as we do with any grief.
- Honor your beloved by setting up an area that is special for them. You can place a picture, the ashes (if possible) and a favorite toy for example.
- Donate time, money or items to local shelters. Helping care for another animal without taking on the full responsibility of a new pet can help with that transition and gives a place to send that love to.
- Find new routines to fill the time that was spent with the pet.
- Pet loss grief support are groups if available.
- Talk about them! Don’t be afraid of talking about the pet when you miss them or think of something funny that they did. Talking about them keeps their memory alive and helps heal from the loss.
If someone you care about is grieving the loss of a pet, the following are ideas you can do to help.
- Validate their feelings. Letting the griever know that their pain is seen is helpful.
- Memorial gifts are usually a hit. Examples like pictures, memorial suncatchers, printed
blankets, and so much more are available. - Provide a safe space for your loved one to tell stories, cry, or do whatever they are
needing to at that time.
As with any grief, there is no exact timeline or way to grieve. No right or wrong way to grieve. Your grief journey is unique to you and your pet. Honoring your pet and your grief is a good place to begin. Try to not bottle up your feelings about the loss and feel the feelings as they come.
Pet loss grief is something you can discuss with a therapist to help navigate this difficult journey. If the grief becomes too heavy, reach out and schedule a session to help work through this unique experience.
References
1) Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress. When losses of loved ones are not
acknowledged – Understanding disenfranchised grief.
https://www.cstsonline.org/assets/media/documents/CSTS_FS_When_Losses_of_Loved_
Ones_Are_Not_Acknowledged_Understanding_Disenfranchised_Grief.pdf
2) Trepany, C. (2023). USA Today. My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief
that our society ignores. https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-
wellness/2023/10/31/pet-loss-disenfranchised-grief/71375731007/
Ashley Stricker
I am a Clinical Mental Health Counseling student pursuing my Master’s degree to gain licensure in the state of Colorado to be a Licensed Professional Counselor.
As a member of the local community, I feel passionate about advocating for our community. My developing approach to counseling centers you as the client with the deep belief and understanding that you make sense! I believe that in counseling, my job is to create an environment for you to feel heard, understood, and accepted. From there, we can build a therapeutic relationship that fosters mental health healing and growth to enable you to live life more fully. I believe that for healing, we need to focus on what is happening in both the mind and the body as they work together so intricately. An essential part of my counseling approach is to view you as the client in a humanistic and holistic fashion that considers all aspects of you and your lived experience. I find it important to view the client, through the necessary lenses that allows me to understand you. A few of those lenses could include your culture, the impact of gender socialization, trauma, and your upbringing, parenting styles and so much more. These significant parts of life are important parts of your story for me to understand in order to work with you proficiently. I will sit with you and your story as we work together toward mental health healing, because I believe there is profound relief in telling our stories and being heard and understood. As I develop as a counselor, I hope to work with clients with military spouse issues, self-worth issues, depression, anxiety, attachment issues, and trauma. My goal is to open a counseling center in the area that focuses on childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault recovery. Survivorship and advocacy are another passion of mine. Whether this is your first time in counseling, or you are seasoned in counseling, I am excited that you are taking this step for your mental health and would be honored to work alongside you!